(theme music playing)
NARRATOR: Man lives in the sunlit world
of what he believes to be reality.
But... there is,
unseen by most, an underworld.
A place that is just as real
but not as brightly lit.
A dark side.
(siren wailing, horns honking)
(game show playing on television)
(electronic tones)
Hello?
(applause)
Hello?
Hello.
There's a good reason to keep you waiting.
I was watching this television program called Wheel of Fate.
A young woman from Modesto, California
was on the verge of winning $100,000.
It all depended upon
a spin of the wheel, you see...
You are Chow Ting?
This is the Chow Ting Laundry?
Yes, I'm Chow Ting.
But don't you care whether this woman
from Modesto, California, won or lost?
(whispering): I want special service.
How special?
Mr. Sam Larchmont, he sent me.
Oh, Mr. Larchmont.
Yes, a loyal customer.
A wonderful man.
Special service is very expensive.
Oh, money's not an issue.
Well, that's good.
How fortunate for you, Mr. uh...
Gropper.
Carl Gropper.
Uh-huh, Mr. Gropper.
Do you have your financial statement?
That should satisfy you.
Yes.
Yes, may I see your laundry?
Well, is... is something wrong?
Is that too much for you?
No. Well...
No problem, no problem.
Here is our price list
for special service.
It is expensive.
If you feel that I am charging... No, no, no, no.
It's just fine.
Now, if you can do everything
that Sam Larchmont says you can do...
We can speak frankly, Mr. Gropper.
Mr. Larchmont says that, uh, you wash away sins.
That is entirely correct.
Our motto is, "At Chow Ting's Laundry,
everything comes out in the wash."
Well, if you wash away sin,
then I won't have any guilt.
Yes.
I'll be able to do anything, anything
without the pangs of conscience.
You will sleep the sleep of a newborn.
Tell me, how do you...? Never ask that question.
That's the first condition of our arrangement.
The second condition is that
you must never return here, never telephone.
Never. Understand?
Now, we will deliver and pick up
according to your needs.
How will you know?
We will know.
Okay.
We'll, uh, run this through my office.
I want my home out of this.
I don't want my wife to know.
As you wish.
Then we have a deal?
We have an arrangement, Mr. Gropper.
Payment must be prompt in cash.
I enjoy everything about our free enterprise society,
except credit cards.
Cash on the line.
(chuckles)
Uh, you may keep that price list for reference.
You see my picture down there at the bottom?
(chuckles)
An indulgence. Vanity.
Pardon the lack of humility.
Listen, I approve of promotion.
I do not, Mr. Gropper.
Another condition is that you be very discreet
about our special service.
In fact, I'm surprised that Mr. Larchmont told you about it.
So was I, but he was drunk at the time.
Look, you have my word.
Don't concern yourself.
I won't tell a soul.
Not a soul?
Not a soul.
(intercom buzzing)
CARL: Yes?
Mr. Larchmont calling.
Sam.
Sam, I've been meaning to give you a call
and thank you for the laundry you suggested.
I mean, business is booming and I feel fabulous.
Laundry, Carl? What laundry?
Hey, Sam, this is Carl, your friend.
You were on your tenth martini, and you gave me the big tip.
Chow Ting, the laundry where it all comes out in the wash.
Carl, you didn't tell him?
No, sweat, Sam.
When I mentioned your name, his face beamed.
He nearly dropped his chopsticks.
Carl, if this gets out... Not a word, Sam.
(dial tone)
How do you like that guy?
My life's a pile of sand,
and he hands me a shovel.
Wonder how he knows when to pick up and deliver?
(intercom buzzes)
Yeah?
WOMAN: It's Marvin. He's calling collect.
Collect? He's only ten years old.
How does he know how to call collect?
I only work here, Mr. Gropper.
He says it's urgent.
Isn't that cute?
Well, put him through and come in here and update the charts.
That's it, the chart.
I knew there was something I forgot.
Here's your son and heir.
Hello, Marvin.
Who taught you to call collect-- your mother, right?
Okay, kiddo. Yeah, what's up?
He said what?!
Yes, Gropper International Industries does own Northlite
Fur Company.
Yes.
Yes, Marvin.
Club baby seals?
Sure, we get fur coats from baby seals, Marvin.
But it all works out.
Why don't you think of it this way:
Wouldn't you rather see those coats on gorgeous girls
than on fat seals?
Marvin, Marvin, stop crying and try to act like my son
once in a while, will you?
You tell that Billy Timmer
to keep his nose out of my business.
That runt's had it in for me
ever since I put his big shot father on the bread line.
Stop sniveling, Marvin!
I'll take it out on that crummy bird you got me
for Father's Day.
Marvin,
Marvin, you're Carl Gropper's only son.
Will you please listen to your daddy?
Bring me home
a piece of Billy Timmer's nose,
and I'll double your allowance.
What's with you, Ginger?
I, I never saw you like this before, Mr. Gropper.
Seals, environment.
No wonder education's going no place.
That Joe Timmer must've put his brat up to this.
I warned him not to cross me
on that shopping center deal.
But to put his son between me and Marvin,
to use him as a wedge between a loving father
and a man's only son.
Some people.
Yes, Mr. Gropper.
Yes, what?
You have a very interesting chest.
Well, so do you.
Why don't you get back to work?
Oh, by the way.
While Marvin was on, you got a call from the weirdo.
Weirdo? What weirdo?
Chow Ting.
He says he has to raise his prices
because of increased labor cost.
Raise his prices? How much?
Double.
Double?! Well, this is the second time.
Mr. Gropper, I don't know why you use him.
Vanish!
I'm vanishing.
I'm here.
Ginny, send Mrs. Gropper a dozen of something that blooms
and has thorns.
And get me my lawyer.
Mr. Winger is on.
Jimmy? Gropper here.
Listen, Jimmy, I've, uh, made a decision.
Serve Cheryl the divorce papers, but don't do it till tomorrow.
Today's her birthday.
And I'm all heart.
Guilt? (chuckles)
I don't have any guilt or remorse.
No more Mr. Nice Guy, Jimmy.
And, Jimmy, one more thing.
You remember my close personal friend Joe Timmer?
Well, he really did something bad to me.
Very terrible.
He turned my only son against me.
I felt pain, human agony,
but never mind the details.
I want Joe Timmer...
and whatever's left of him turned to ashes.
Yeah, yeah, I know what I'm saying.
You do whatever has to be done.
I want Joe Timmer turned into a lousy memory.
I know I can count on you, counselor.
(phone dialing)
Darlene? Me.
Yes, I spoke to Sam today.
I know he loves me like a brother.
And I love him, too, and I also happen to love his wife.
So, why don't you meet me tonight?
The usual place.
Then we can have a little bit of champagne, lobster
and a little hanky-panky.
You tell me where.
Okay.
Oh, Darlene...
Carl's got a little surprise for you.
No, no, no, no.
You'll just have to wait and see.
Double that. Bye-bye.
You like this, Eagle?
A diamond is forever, give or take.
She's gonna love it.
You're gonna get some
interesting laundry this week, Chow Ting.
Really interesting.
You know...
for the first time in my life, I like me.
Maybe I was a little rough on Joe Timmer.
Maybe I ought to call it off.
No. No, murder builds character.
And Chow Ting will take care of the fallout.
I'm nearly out of shirts.
What's with that Chow Ting?
First he rips my guts out with his prices, and then he...
It'd better come out in the wash.
He told me never to call.
Yeah, well, who's paying the bills, anyway?
I am.
He's got his number on his price list.
Why is it there if he doesn't want anybody to call?
Hello, Chow Ting.
This is...
Answering machine.
Yes, I'll wait for the beep.
Chow Ting, this is Carl Gropper.
Listen, I've got to insist on a delivery.
I've been waiting all day.
They never give you enough time. Never.
He didn't want me to call.
I know he's gonna punish me.
I know it.
CARL: Rumors? What rumors?
No, we're on excellent terms.
(chuckles) Our kids play together.
Yes, yes, we did acquire all the stock.
But Joe Timmer was dead, and opportunity is opportunity.
Rhoda Timmer said what? (chuckles)
Well, as a reporter, you should know
that a recent widow will say just about anything.
Rhoda Timmer.
Yeah, she is a beauty though.
Legs like highways.
(clears throat loudly)
Send Rhoda Timmer more flowers.
You've already sent five wreaths.
Well, send her some more flowers.
And send the kid, Billy--
send him something stuffed.
Send him a bear.
That's not appropriate.
Send him a stuffed bear with a black ribbon around its paw.
And then write something, like, uh, uh, "From your Uncle Carl."
Oh, Ginny, any news from the Orient Express?
If you mean Chow Ting, no.
Why don't you switch to Ying Foo.
I use Ying Foo.
He's never late.
Last week he got a stain out of my....
Don't try to sell me Ying Foo, Ginger.
Yours is not, and I repeat, not to reason why.
Now evaporate.
(door slamming)
The name of the game, Eagle, is to wait him out.
Take your inscrutable time, Chow Ting.
Take your inscrutable time.
I can hold out longer than you can.
I've got enough new stuff here to wait out your siege.
I knew he was gonna punish me if I called,
but... but to triple your prices?
Huh! No way.
Nobody makes a sucker out of Carl Gropper.
(intercom buzzing)
GINGER: Sam Larchmont on the line.
E.S.P., Sam.
Look, I was meaning to give you a buzz.
Carl, what have you done to Chow Ting?
I'm up to my neck in dirty laundry here.
Oh, he hasn't picked up or delivered
at your place either, huh?
Look, we've got to hold the line, Sam.
You called him, didn't you, Carl?
You blew it!
He told you I called him, didn't he?
Okay, yeah, I admit it. I did it.
It was a foolish thing.
But to triple the prices?
Money!
It's only money!
Sam... Sam, I think Chow Ting will come in line.
(Sam choking up)
(crying)
Get ahold of yourself, Sam.
(line disconnects)
Sam?
Sam Larchmont, crying.
You never even change your feathers, you slob.
Boy, they're all alike. All alike.
They get you hooked, they stick the knife in and they twist.
I'm behaving like a fool.
Chow Ting needs me as much as I need him.
Don't come, don't call, don't tell a soul.
Of course.
That's it.
How could I be so blind?
Ah, there's the beep.
Hello, Chow.
You don't mind if I call you Chow, old buddy?
I know what you really want.
You want my soul.
You want my immortal soul, you old devil, you.
Well, okay, you've got a deal.
You can have it. You can have it!
Just get over here and bring me my laundry.
Mr. Gropper?
Ah, Ginger, doll, come on in.
What would I do without you?
You're feeling good.
I feel great.
Sam Larchmont is dead.
What?
What did you say?
Sam Larchmont is dead.
Go away.
Is there anything I can...? Go.
Sam, dead?
I should've called him first.
I should've told him what Chow Ting was after.
He would've made a deal.
He's a practical man.
GINGER (over intercom): Yes, Mr. Gropper?
Get my broker on the phone.
Have him put a bid in for Larchmont Industries
at 15, and get all he can.
And get me Darlene Larchmont.
You taught me to go for the throat, Sam.
I'm sorry you're dead, but I'm not.
GINGER (over intercom): Mrs. Larchmont is on the line.
Darlene, what happened?
Suicide?
86 floors?
No, Darlene, he couldn't possibly have known about us.
What did the note say?
Well, I can't imagine why Sam would leave a... laundry list.
Oh, Darlene, I'm not gonna grab up all the stock.
What kind of a man do you think I am?
(slamming phone down)
You promised.
You promised to pick up and deliver!
You promised!
So Sam Larchmont couldn't take it.
Well, Chow Ting, Carl Gropper's another story.
Yeah, we have our little arrangement, don't we?
My soul for your laundry.
We're in this for a long haul together.
(intercom buzzing)
GINGER (over intercom): Chow Ting.
He came.
He brought the laundry. He delivered.
Well, send him in.
GINGER: Excuse me, but he's not here.
He's on the line.
(button clicks)
CHOW TING: Ah, Mr. Gropper, I was on hold.
I heard nice music.
Where are you?
At the airport.
I just wanted to tell you, Mr. Gropper,
I got your message. I'm not interested in souls.
I'm not even interested in laundry anymore.
Mr. Gropper, I won the lottery.
Isn't that wonderful? (chuckles)
Only in America.
Now, Mrs. Ting and I are off to Miami, Florida.
We bought a condominium overlooking Biscayne Bay.
I wanted to thank you for your patronage,
but Chow Ting is now out of business.
Retired.
A man of leisure. (chuckles)
I hope you take the news of my good fortune
better than Mr. Larchmont.
He went all to pieces.
Good-bye, Mr. Gropper, and the best of luck.
Sayonara. (line disconnects)
Sayonara?
That's not even Chinese.
Chow Ting won the lottery.
He and Mrs. Ting are gonna take a long-deserved vacation.
Why not?
He's a frugal man.
The kids are grown up.
It's time to enjoy life.
Enjoy life.
He's about to retire.
I can always get Ying Foo.
At least he can get a stain out.
Leave a stain.
Did you hear that, Eagle?
Carl Gropper will leave a stain!
(glass shattering)
(Carl screaming)
NARRATOR: The dark side is always there,
waiting for us to enter,
waiting to enter us.
Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.